God must be a PC assembler

If there is one thing that scares the shit out of me(literally), it is the prospect of talking to a woman. My legs start doing the Mr.Bean jig, my tongue starts sticking to the ceiling of my mouth and my jaws get stuck into a strained tooth revealing smile that plainly conveys the message that i am not interested in talking or that I have a bad tooth ache. Anyway, I was forced into a conversation with a colleague that could have been easily avoided had i not been so gullible in assuming that I could just pull it off. Well, it went the way that it usually happens. For someone whose entire conversation in the office(other than anything work related) is limited to hellos, good mornings and byes, bringing up an interesting conversation with a woman over a cup of evening coffee is an onerous, stressful task.
Well, if there is anything in this world that comes close to god, i think it is google. My idea of god would be someone who answers all my questions. Google certainly does that, sometimes on the first try, sometimes it tests my patience by hiding the answer in the 121st page and also occasionally correcting me to ask the right questions. Anyway, I looked up 'How to talk to women' in google and Ta-da.. there were instant answers, although i dint look up any of the links to spare myself the embarassment of my colleagues finding me reading such an article. On hindsight, it would have been a good option to have looked into them.
All this makes me think of god being a wily PC assembler, he apparently fixed me up with a 3Ghz quad core processor, 300 GB HDD and a 3GB RAM, but when it came to installing the OS, i guess he chose windows 3.11 or windows 98(although i am happy, it is not Vista, i would be asking permission even to pee...), that crashes even when i attempt a simple communication. Not to forget the obselete NIC card of the 80's that he installed, which is incapable of the establishing a connection for lack of compatibility with latest protocols. My poor soul has indeed had a raw deal with god :(